the 100 day project – days 12 &13 – blog slacker

Blog slacker.

This is the message that I received from a writer friend this morning. And he was right. Just over a week in, and I have already been slacking and letting doubt get the better of me. Uggggggggh.

But that’s what the best kind of friends are for, right? Pushing you when you need pushing, and telling you that you are being a lazy dummy when you’re being a lazy dummy.

Most of my friendships are like this now – a fine balance between support and gentle pushing, or sometimes rather abrupt pushing, that let’s you know that someone is there for you, but also that they not going to take your shit. And I wouldn’t want them to. Take it. We can all be shitty at times, and the difference between a good friend and a bad one, is that good ones will let you get away with things when you really need their support and will give you a stern talking to when you’re stepping out of line; bad ones will let you get away with shit when you’re just being lazy, and will give you a stern talking to during the times that you actually need them for real support. Does that make sense? Did I articulate that correctly?

I feel like the best true friends that I’ve had are OK with me at my core, and will slap me back into place when I’m not being true to that core. But the ones that have not been the best have made me feel ashamed of my core, and would be encouraging only when I was easy breezy about all aspects of my life – good or bad. The bad ones wouldn’t have messaged me to give me a hard time for not writing; they wouldn’t have even noticed that I’d been writing in the first place.

This year, I’m working hard on being more vulnerable. I’ve been so in the past, but with entirely the wrong people, and it has not led to good things. I have had a lot of heartache in my life. Not particularly any more than your average joe, but as a person who is incredibly sensitive, it’s important to be even more discerning as to who you share your heart with. In friendship, or otherwise.

If you’ve been reading along, you might have noticed that all of the posts that I’ve done this month have been highly self-reflective, and I feel like they will continue to be so for the next while. I’m working really hard this year on being a better and better version of myself, and if that doesn’t require reflection, I don’t know what does.

Less blog slacking in the future. Thanks, friend.

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