Sitting in my living room surrounded by boxes, and marvelling at the fact that I will be moving in a matter of days. I’ve lived almost exclusively on my own for 7 years now, and this Saturday, I will be making the shift into a giant house with 3 roommates. I’m nervous and excited. I’m worried about what might go wrong, but also soooo looking forward to the possibilities. Having pals over for Sunday dinners and brunches, gardening in the back yard, roommie movie nights, and so so many evening beers and morning coffees on the front porch.
I spoke to my mother for the first time in months today; not because I hadn’t wanted to. The last time that we saw each other was… awful. So incredibly awful. It was a turning point for me that sparked so much reflection, and began a journey that I’ve been on ever since to make change in my life. I needed time away, and now that the dust has settled, it’s time to make amends.
My relationship with my mother has always been incredibly fraught, but this year I am making a serious effort to stitch some of it back together. In her old age, I am doing my best to accept and let go of all of the things that she does that are painful, and to just give her the closest version that I can to the relationship that she wishes we’d had from the start.
Here’s to spring and new beginnings. Wish me luck.