Life on the Coast – Week Four

IMG_0561.JPGWeek 4 is in the bag. Holy moly. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a month.

Spring is slowly giving way to summer. I’ve been running more, which feels amazing. I can’t even begin to tell you. Still only little short guys, but I feel pretty certain that I’ll be able to start adding extra KMs on soon. I can feel longer distances coming!

This past week led to a last minute housing change, as there was a hiccup with the first place that I had taken. Not to worry though! Serendipitously, I ran into the owners of another place that I had seen and had been thinking about, and they hadn’t rented it out yet! Hurrraaaaaaaay. Why? Because everything is always working out for me.

I went and signed my lease yesterday. My new landlords are also new coasters, who are currently just up here on the weekends doing renos. They’re both landscape architects, and just seem like really great people, who I will probably end up hanging out with when they’re in town. I’m moving into my place on July 1st.

Other nice things this week:

I found a Danish teak table for my livingroom for 25 bucks. I also found some really cool vintage Japanese pottery mugs and saucers + cream and sugar set for 10 bucks. And also a really great straw panama hat, becaust coast life. Keep your fingers crossed for me finding the perfect sofa in the next few weeks! For reference, this is the vibe that I’m aspiring to.

J’s parents, Paul and Carol, put together a surprise celebration for Jac and Clayton’s wedding anniversary, which was a picnic dinner on a little boat coasting around the Gibsons harbour, and a few pals were invited along. It was the most lovely surprise for all of us. Again, I’d been feeling a little, “ok but now what?” and then this happened and it was like, “ok now what is that your life will be filled with beautiful pal and nature surprises plus lovely food, that’s what”. This was seriously the perfect coastal evening.

Post boat ride.

Littlest Jo was NOT HAVING IT with this wheelbarrow ride.

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It was Theo’s birthday party. A whole bunch of pals came in from the city, and J and Clayton hosted a really lovely backyard BBQ. Again, nice hangs, great people, delicious food, plus Theo and pals being completely pumped about a party.

I volunteered for the Puddle Jumper Classic. It was just a little short shift, but a good first glimpse into the running community up here on the coast. Some dudes from East Van Run Crew were up for the race, and we had a little chat about run crews, and it tugged at my heart strings and made me miss Parkdale. I miss that feeling of running with a pack. And I miss my run fam. It’s easy to forget a little how far away you are and how long it’s been when there’s social media, but it’s summer and I miss those hot summer nights speeding down Richmond Street back to the Gladstone.

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I had my first impromptu hangout! My one single friend texted me on Friday to see what I was up to and we went and grabbed last minute beers at Persephone. Hurray! It was so nice, and also funny to have a “Friday out”. Deciding what to wear on the coast is kind of funny, because my first thought was, yeaaaaah, wear your black tunic/smock thing, and your camel jacket etc etc etc, and just no. Pretty much take any outfit that you might wear out to dinner with friends in the city, then underaccessorize, sub out one interesting piece of clothing and add birkenstocks. We also ran into another person who I know while at Persephone, who joined us for a drink. Making paaaaals.

Sunday night ended in another farm field pizza oven potluck, with the usual pals, and a few other new coasters who I had not yet met. All around nice people.

I was asked if I was single and would be interested in being set up on a date. And because I’m actually so curious about what dating will be like here, I just said yes. I didn’t even ask for any details. And then how do I write about the dating experience up here? It’s a small town, so do I just keep it to myself? Keep posts vague? Part of what’s different about my experience compared to a lot of others is that I didn’t move up here with a partner, so it feels like something that I should be documenting, no? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TBD.

Even in this week’s post, I’m already doing a teeny bit of small town censoring just in case. Because small toooooooowns.

I’m giving a talk this Friday, and I am so nervous.

More to come.

 

 

Lessons learned from my shitty marriage (and the years that followed)

Cross posted from Medium

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Photo by Malloreigh Hamilton

For the most part, I have not been what I would call successful at romantic relationships. I’m working on it, as many of us are. But despite the fact that I still have some lessons to learn in the realm of courtship, a recent experience caused me to reflect on where I’ve been, and made me so incredibly thankful to have learned so many lessons during my youth, and to not be repeating them now. So I’d like to share with you – the lessons learned from my shitty marriage and the years that followed:

1) Sometimes romantic love is not enough. Romantic love is wonderful, and being “in love” is a pretty important component of a romantic relationship. But there are also many other things to consider when you make a commitment to a life partner. My husband and I had some divergent views when it came to our actual day to day life, and what a successful life looked like. Do you both want kids? Does one of you want to live in the city, while the other wants to own a farm? Do you love to travel, but your partner would rather never leave the neighbourhood? All of these things add up over the years.

In my case, my husband wanted a lot of the same things that I did, but was not willing to put in the work. He wanted to go out for fancy dinners, but didn’t have a job. He wanted to travel, but was unwilling to make any of the travel arrangements. Slowly, I realized that to achieve the life I wanted us to live, that I would also have to do all of the work for both of us just to bring him along. More and more, we fell into a cycle where I was disappointed in his lack of ambition, and he was hurt by my judgement. The day to day became overwhelming. I still loved him a great deal, but it was clear that the way that we wanted to live our lives was incompatible.

I’m not saying that this is everyone’s story, or that you shouldn’t get married to someone you are bonkers for. I hope that you are completely head over heels bonkers for whoever you end up with, and I absolutely wish the same for myself. But just make sure to consider the long game, and know that if you have a lot of differences, your marriage may be a lot more work than you’d anticipated. Differing approaches to your family’s finances can be particularly detrimental. Of course these things can be overcome if you put in the work. Just be prepared.

2) Marriage isn’t over until it’s over. Telling people that you’ve broken up. Dating other people. Being separated. These things are steps towards ending your marriage. But they are not the end of your marriage. Until you get that magic piece of paper saying that IT’S OVER, it is not actually over; any rationalization you use to say that it doesn’t matter is just you kidding yourself.

Over the two years that I was separated, my ex and I would play this game where we were with other people, but would have teary kiss filled conversations while out at the bar about how it was so sad that we couldn’t be together. I convinced myself that being separated was enough, and divorce would happen whenever, but that it didn’t really matter, and anyways the paperwork was too much of a pain. Deep down, I think that I was holding on to a small thread of belief that there was still time for him to get his life together, and for us to live happily ever after. I don’t know what changed, but one day while I was downtown, I walked into the courthouse and decided that I just couldn’t take it anymore. That afternoon I filed for divorce. When I finally received the divorce certificate in the mail, I felt so much relief, and so much closure.

It’s not over until it’s really over.

3) They are not going to leave their partner for you. In the years to follow my broken marriage, I was involved in a series of other peoples’ open relationships. My friend group at the time was all about reading the ethical slut, and being super open-minded, and really cool. Caveat – sure, open relationships seem to work really well for some people, and kudos to them! But for a large portion of humans, they are a horrible exercise in making yourself feel like a piece of insecure garbage for most of your life.

Anyways… one of these open relationship things happened to be with a close long time friend of mine. His girlfriend at the time was also a close friend. I don’t even remember how, but one night something between us “just happened” (see point (4)). We had this insane chemistry that made me feel like my skin was on fire just being near him. My whole body would vibrate. But he was still with his girlfriend, and I was still dating and seeking my own primary person. Then one day, my current fling and I were crashing at guy and his roommates house, and he went BONKERS. He flung himself into a fit of jealousy, and confessed that he had really intense romance feelings for me, and would date me in a second if he were single, and that it made him crazy to see me with other people. Over the months that followed, we continued to torturously secretly confess our feelings to each other, have sex in bathrooms at parties and bars, and cause drama for the people around us. He and his girlfriend did eventually break up. I remember thinking, “This is it! We are finally going to be together now.” We spent that Christmas together, and it felt to me like things were finally falling into place. But here’s the thing… if you start off a romance as a set yourself on fire, dramatic horror show, then when you decide to get your life together, you probably don’t want to bring that horror show with you. A few months later, he was in a monogamous relationship with a new person, and as far as I know, they’ve been together ever since. Again, maybe your relationship came out of an affair, and it’s going swimmingly. Good for you (kind of). But in most cases, it will end as a sad puddle of bullshit.

4) Nothing “just happens”. People say this all the time when they are talking about missteps, affairs, poor decisions. “It just happened!” “I don’t know how I ended up sleeping with him! It just happened!” “OMG! I know he’s in a relationship! But it just happened!” I’m sorry, but if things keep “just happening”, you need to get really real with yourself. “Just happened” is something that we tell ourselves to rationalize unhealthy behaviour to make ourselves feel like we’re not being terrible; it allows us to feel like we’re being guided by fate, and we are simply pawns of the universe when it comes to matters of romance, sex, and love. “It” might have just happened, but usually the road to “it” is paved with a series of uneasy, deliberate steps that set the stage for “it” to seem as though you weren’t deliberately meaning for “it” to happen the whole time. You exchange numbers, you have one too many drinks, you stay until everyone else has left, you go to their place for a night cap, you sit too close on the sofa… these are all decisions. And in the moment, you know that they are bad ones. But you choose to deliberately make them anyways.

As mentioned above, at some point in my marriage, my then husband and I made the idiotic decision to have a semi-open relationship. While it was easy to follow the rules at first, as things in our marriage began to fall apart, the rules began to slip. I would deliberately go out with my emotional crutch non-boyfriend, and stay out too late, and flirt too much, and I knew that it made my husband feel like garbage, and I didn’t care. And he did the same thing to me. Eventually I confirmed my suspicions that he had actually slept with a 19 year old who he’d been partying with, and that was it for me. The next day I told him that it was over.

The remainder of the lessons learned are less from my marriage, and more from the time spent out in the dating world since then – they’re reminders that I think that we all need from time to time.

5) Chemistry is not the same thing as love. Chemistry is a crazy thing. I have had one or two relationships in my life, that made me absolutely insane with lust. The kind of relationship where you don’t sleep, and you ignore your friends, and you forget your own name, because you just need to be touching that person. RIGHT. NOW. I am glad that I’ve experienced that kind of lose your mind, sexual fire, but make no mistake, it is NOT THE SAME THING AS LOVE. And having amazing sex with someone does not translate to having an amazing relationship with them. In one of these set-yourself-on fire-with-wanting instances, the object of my obsession and I would spend literally the entire day sexting. We would then spend hours staring into a screen at each other doe eyed, and telling each other how much we were losing our minds for each other (it was long distance). A month in, he told me that he was falling in love with me, and he booked a flight out to Vancouver to visit. We NEEDED to see each other. The plan was basically to spend 4 days locked away in a hotel room fucking. The problem with this plan, is that he had been ignoring all sorts of real life responsibilities for the past month in favour of paying attention to me. Booking his flight was the final pin in the cap of shunting his entire life, and finally caught up with him when he arrived. His friends were fuming that he had been planning to visit town without seeing them. And he almost lost his most important client, because he hadn’t told them that he was going out of town. He ignored everything that mattered. JUST BECAUSE OF CHEMISTRY. Our visit ended up being a confused mess of sex and anxiety, and we did not proceed with any sort of relationship afterwards. It took me a long time to get over this one.

If I thought about it rationally, I knew that we weren’t REALLY that compatible. We might have dated briefly for a few weeks if we’d met under normal circumstances. But because of our overwhelming physical connection, we convinced ourselves within a few short weeks that without having ever actually met in real life that we had definitely found “the one”. In summary, incredible chemistry is a magical experience, that literally makes you feel like your body and mind are high on another person 24 hours a day, and like they could give you ten thousand orgasms just by looking at you. You might even fall in love with someone you have amazing chemistry with. I don’t know what advice to give you to be able to tell the difference when you’re in it – because let’s face it, that connection can make you convince yourself that just about anything is rational behaviour – but don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. Try your best.

6) When someone who you are having sex with needs you for constant emotional support, this is not the same as them being in love with you. This one might seem idiotic to some of you. I don’t know. But for me, as someone who always wants to try to help people, it is hard for me to say no when I see that they are going through a rough time, even if I know that spending time with them will be detrimental to my own emotional integrity. This has played a factor in a few relationships that I’ve had where the dude was clearly not into me romantically, but relied on me heavily for emotional support, and we were also involved sexually, so I confused the whole thing for being a real relationship, or moving towards a real relationship. Bottom line – if someone wants to be with you, they will just do that. There is no bad timing, or it’s complicated, or I’m so messed up right now. If someone won’t give you the respect of their full attention while you are sharing both your bed and your feelings, then they are not worth your time. The end.

7) Noone will be everything that you want and need them to be. The world that we live in today often shows us a really fucked up view of relationships where it seems like everyone who is in one’s life is like the best rom com mashed together with a Kinfolk magazine spread. They are SO IN LOVE, and living their #bestlife, and are #soulmates, who also have amazing sex every night, and just love to #elevate the shit out of each other. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE. Picking a life partner is a compromise. I love love LOVE this project by photographer Dita Pepe in which she imagines her life with different partners through self portraits, because it shows how different one person’s life could be depending on the partner they choose to create their life with. Each one has its benefits and drawbacks compared to the others.

While a lot of these experiences were tumultuous at the time, and some of them might also have you thinking “YEAH NO KIDDING, DUMMY!”, it feels really good to know that I am ready to not make the same mistakes again. I’ve grown enough that I can see one of these danger signs coming from a mile away, and it’s nice to know that when I see one of them approaching, that my reaction is to move away from it, even if part of my gut is screaming at me, “But you liiiiiiiike hiiiiim. Maybe it will work ouuuuuuut.” It is empowering to move forward without having to worry about repeating the same mistakes that caused me so much grief. And though I know each person has their own lessons to learn, I hope that this list of lessons might give some of you out there the tiny nudge you need to say “NO MORE” to some of these terrible dating pitfalls. You deserve better.

We all do.

day 49-52

I seem to have a million blog post ideas that I want to cover during the hours when I am not sitting here in front of my laptop, and then when it comes time to write, they all melt away into oblivion. Clearly I need to start taking notes.

This past week has been full of meetings, and productivity, and good talks, and hangouts, and dates. And I remembered that I love/hate dates so much because they are exciting and fun, but also confusing and horrible. Right? I hate having to think about this shit.

We’re ramping up for another CreativeMornings event at the end of the week, and it’s nice to be back at it after much to long of a break between events. It’s gonna’ be a good one.

What else… A friend/CMTO colleague is running her first half marathon in Calgary this upcoming weekend, and I sent her off with a card to open the morning of her race. I still can’t believe how emotional running races feels. We both almost started crying just by me handing her the envelope and saying what it was for. I’m so proud of her, and I wish so very much that I could be there to cheer her on in person.

Sometimes tiny gestures of kindness make all the difference in life.

Goodnight.

the 100 day project – day 7 – weird confidence

This is going to seem silly. Maybe very silly. But I severely lack confidence.

While professionally, I have very good sense of my capabilities, and boundaries, and what I deserve, both personally and romantically I know very well that I do not. I don’t know why. I’m working on it. But at the moment, I shy away from any person who I see shining too brightly. On a friend level, all that this means is that it takes me a very long time to develop deep friendships, but on a romantic level, it means that I am forever missing out. I am forever too bashful. How do I find the balance between shyness and aloofness? How do I manage to show interest without humiliation> I suppose that all humans suffer this, but maybe some are just more sensitive than others.

Toronto updates

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Hello Blogworld!

It’s now been just over four months here in Toronto. Things are going pretty well so far. I’ve done some dating, made some friends, found a yoga studio, done some side contract work, and joined a pretty awesome running club.

Life is good. I guess that this post is going to be a little summary of life to date, as well as some general observations about moving to a new city and life differences between Toronto and Van.

LIFE TO DATE!

Like I said, I have finally settled into a new yoga studio, which is great, because I was really missing something from my life without it. Over my four month break, I lost a lot of my flexibility and arm strength, which is a MEGA BUMMER, but I am looking forward to getting it back. I’ve also started running with the Parkdale Roadrunners a few times a week, and it’s been so amazing in terms of fitness, and just making me feel great about life. I’ve decided that I’m going to do a long slow train for the Detroit Half-Marathon in October. It’s gonna’ be great. It’s been wonderful to feel FIT again. For years, I’ve been doing cycling and yoga, with maybe some dodgeball or other sport thrown in there, but something was just missing. I was very slowly putting on weight, and just feeling like I needed more in the physical activity area of my life. Now, a few months into running, I’m feeling stronger and faster, and I’ve melted off that extra ten pounds of love handles. The love handles were not a huge deal, but I am just happier that they are not there anymore. Plus, slowly making pals with this group of runners is awesome. I can’t wait until 6-8 months from now, when we are actually buddies, and running is this great healthy and fun social activity that is a big part of my life. ANYWAYS.

Other things… also did some contract work with Emily Carr again, and work is going well, and I am feeling more competent and awesome about career stuff than I have ever felt in my life. It’s amazing.

I also seem to have more confidence about dating than ever before? I have a long history of being kind of “why doesn’t anyone loooooooove meeeeeeee????!?!” And now I know why. It’s because if I’m honest with myself… I was kind of desperate. I was so eager to have a bf, that I would just bend over backwards to accommodate any kind of behaviour or schedule, even if it didn’t really suit me. I didn’t even really have to like the person like crazy. I would just do it. This is not an attractive characteristic. It wreaks of nervous insecurity. I’m not sure what happened when I moved. But after about a month of being here, that characteristic was gone. I feel calm and confident, and like I know what I want and what I don’t want, and like if something is going to work out then that is great, but I do not have to strain myself to make it happen.

OBSERVATIONS ABOUT MOVING IN GENERAL

It takes a long time to get settled. A really long time. I am still in a kind of mid-way home, where it’s good, but not quite HOME. I often miss my Vancouver apartment, which was not perfect, but reflected me so well, and was definitely mine. I miss sitting on my porch and listening to the rain, and having friends over for dinner. I miss my books, and my art, and my kitchen corkboard full of mementos.  I miss getting home late, and turning on music to dance around my livingroom, and smoke on my porch.

I miss my friends. So much sometimes that it hurts. The Internet helps things, but I miss the everydays of our lives together. I miss J and Clayton on the weekends. I miss easy hangs. The thing that is both wonderful and exhausting about being in a new city, is that there are so many new people to talk to.  It’s so great, but it also means that most social interactions take a lot of energy. There is no “Just come over with some chips to drink beer in my livingroooooom. I’m still in a housecoat, but can we just watch trashy TV and talk about our love lives all afternoon?” I don’t know how else to summarize best friends level of comfort differently right now. So, I miss that.

Again, as with friends, places are easy to miss. In a new city, when I want a specific thing, I might not have any idea how to get it. It took me like 3 weeks to figure out where to go for my birthday, because I didn’t know where the type of place that I wanted to go to existed. In Vancouver, it would have been easy. Or like, if I need weird cheap crafty things… where do those come from?

Anyways… so things are great, but hard. Exciting, but also lonely sometimes. I can’t wait until the summer, because it will make everything way more awesome. I can almost taste how awesome summer will be.

TORONTO VS VANCOUVER

I lied. I actually am going to leave this for a future post. I am so sleepy right now, and I’ve been writing/working on different projects on my computer for like 4 hours now, and it’s time to hit the hay.

The one thing that I will say, is that despite the cold, I am really loving the snow/sunshine as opposed to RAIN ALL THE TIME. The snow is still a magical novelty to me at this point, and even though I am dying for summer, the snow is so beautiful and I love it.

I also love how friendly people are in Toronto. I was warned before moving here that Torontonians are cold. I’m not sure what happened that those people had that experience here, but I personally find folks in Toronto so incredibly friendly, and non-flakey, and genuinely interested in other humans; I think that people here are about ten billion times more friendly, and more likely to make friends with strangers than anyone in Vancouver. But that’s just been my experience.

ON THAT NOTE – SLEEP TIME!

Until next time.

SLEEP! SLEEP! SLEEP!

Tron – week 3

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As I round out my third week in Toronto, I’m slowly starting to find my stride and figure things out a bit. I go running a few times a week, I have a few pals who I can call for hangs, or text to say hi if I’m having a good or crummy day, I’ve found a permanent place to live, and I’ve biked to most neighbourhoods in the city. It feels like I’ve been here both for a much longer, and much shorter, period of time than three weeks. This might not make sense to anyone but me, but it kind of feels like I am in a weirdo-limbo-dream-zone where nothing is quiiiiiite fully real? Maybe it’s because I still have no idea what my life is really going to be here? It’s all still pretty mysterious in so many ways. Oddly, I also keep running into people I know on the street, so that adds a bit of familiarity to the otherwise mostly unfamiliar veil over the comings and goings of my everyday life.

I’ve been on a few dates since getting here, some better than others, with one individual in particular who just seems so earnest and involved in life, that this weekend more than ever I felt the need to kickstart myself from settling in mode to settled. Consequently, I spent most of today scouring the Internet for book stores, and markets, and other things that I think that I would love in Toronto; then finished of my Internet scour by signing up for a beginner sewing class at The Workroom, and applying for volunteer positions with The West End Food Co-op and the Royal Ontario Museum’s Patrick and Barbara Keenan Family Gallery of Hands-on Biodiversity. *fingers crossed*

Ummmmm. What else… I guess that that’s it for updates. I’m not actually feeling that much like WRITING tonight, but in an effort to be somewhat productive decided that I should just do it even if it’s nothing too exciting. Right?! Right.

Topics to be covered in more seriousness in the near future:

  1. the irritation that I feel when people say things like “Oh! You write about science, but you’re still interested in creative things too? That’s great!”
  2. something about the reasons I hate the Big Bang Theory, and why it’s actually kind of offensive
  3. something in-depth about my new job
  4. maybe something about insecurity, and self esteem, and the displaced feeling of being in a new city when you’re a person who is used to being really well connected/informed and all of a sudden you’re the person being like “I have no ideas for plans! GOD, I AM BORING!”
  5. the plight of my ongoing insecurity with regards to pursuit of my own artistically creative endeavours

THE END.

With an opening line like that, how could any girl refuse?

Ok, so I am aware that I am not writing incredibly frequently, and also that out of a mere handful of posts, two have already been about my confused and often failing love life, but I got a message in my okcupid inbox today that just made me very confused about what young men today seem to see as the appropriate way to approach women. So here goes. I opened my inbox to find this:

“Important question!

Imagine it’s my birthday and you’re taking me out for dinner. I just got home and am hungry. You just got home as well but came from the gym and need to take a shower and get changed. How long does it take for you to get ready?

A) 30 minutes and you look HOT and I can’t keep my hands off of you?
B) 15 minutes and you look cute?
C) 2 hours and I die of starvation? ”

Guy was 24, so he might really have just been trying to ask if I was high maintenance or not (still… not in the first message, guys), but what he really came across as saying was “I don’t want to date a princesse, but I also don’t want to date a sack of muffins who can’t be bothered to put on a full face of makeup and some heels for dinners, amIright?”

I guess that the main thing that irks me about this message is that there is a certain segment of the population that has been brainwashed into selecting this image of women that is very particularly quaffed and made-up in a weirdly generic “hot” way. This segment of the population has decided that a woman who just got home from the gym could not possibly fall into the “hot” category, and neither can the woman who has put in a little effort, but didn’t really go full Kardashian in her look. Not only this, but if she steps over the 30 minute mark trying to meet this expectation, then HOLY SHIT, she is hiiiiiiiigh maintenance and you wanna’ stay the hell away from that crazy bitch. It’s just another way that women are supposed to be able to find this mystical perfect balance of weird expectations about their looks and grooming habits.

ANYWAYS. I realize that this post is a little bit of an over-reaction/simplification/over-statement, BUT if this is the type of approach that many young men seem to be taking as their FIRST interaction? Their BEST foot forward? THIS is the line that they are throwing out in order to try and entice a lady into going out on a date with them? Well then I guess this lady over here is going to continue her long single journey for some time to come. END RANT.

Also, no picture this post. Womp womp.

We met on the Internet

A brief surmisal of my non-adventures in online dating. Username shown is not my own.

Recently I have found myself re-delving into the world of online dating. Although, this time around it would probably be more aptly described as online lurking. I have been on Internet dates in the past, with the best outcome leading to a strange and indifferent one month fling, and the worst being an hour long date where the guy showed up on a bicycle emblazoned with a dragon whose  side of the conversation consisted mostly of him telling me how much he hated his job and didn’t really have any ambitions. All-in-all, not too successful, but no horror stories.

I started off with the intention that this time around, I would message every person back, I would be open-minded about people who looked weird based on their profile pics, I would not judge people’s profiles based on their grammar, and god-dammit, I would go on some dates. This renewed zest and vigour lasted for approximately a grand total of one afternoon. Even with the people who look interesting, who I think that I might like in real life, I usually muster up the strength for one or two messages and then just CANNOT BE BOTHERED EVEN REMOTELY CARING.

So why do I keep my okcupid account? And more importantly, why do i keep checking it? Well… I wish that I had an answer for you there. In terms of efficiency and accuracy in dating, I sure do not believe that it’s the best interface for choosing someone to meet up with. So you both like Wes Anderson movies and science? ZOMG! You also both know that in reality, it will take about two seconds of meeting in real life to be able to tell if you are even remotely interested in carrying on a conversation with the other person. Amiright?

I suppose that I have enough friends who have met their AMAZING partners on online dating sites, that I feel like it’s worthwhile to hold out hope… to sift through the messages from pervs asking if they can be my slave, and the sad type of nerd who thinks that because I like TNG, it means I want to hang out with them drinking Mountain Dew in their mom’s basement…

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I started off with a purpose, and it’s kind of meandering into a long rambley blah blah blah. Which, I guess, is exactly how I feel about online dating.

But hey, a girl’s gotta’ try.