the 100 day project – day 33

Today I went to see a talk by Roman Mars of 99% Invisible, with some of the other women from CreativeMornings Toronto. It was pretty much the best ever. Roman Mars has such a gift for storytelling that shows the beauty and wonder in the everyday. He is such a gifted speaker, with a calm, silky, measured tone. He has a way of making one feel incredibly excited about, and interested in, a topic without becoming manic or dramatic in his manner of speech.

Anyways, it was just such a treat. The talk was put on by Format, so THANKS FORMAT.

This was followed by a few drinks and foods at Bar Raval with a couple of the lovely ladies from Parkdale Roadrunners, and holy shit is that place great. Really lovely, beautiful atmosphere, that has more of a european vibe. And also, HOLY HELL, the tomato toast. Tomato toooooooooooast!!! We ordered it based on the bartender’s recommendation and it was probably my favourite out of everything we had. And it was only 3.50. It took me back to spending long summer days out on the water at my friend’s lake cabin and running in briefly in the afternoon only to make a quick tomato and mayo on toasted rye sandwich. THE BEST. But this was better. The mushroom towers were also the most delicious.

FINALLY, I came home to find that my roommates had completely unpacked/set up all of the common areas in our house. So it finally is really starting to look a lot like a home. Hurrrrrraaaaaaaaay.

And now it’s time for sleeps.

The End.

tiny and emooooooooo

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Life is hard sometimes, guys. I have reached the part of my first year of moving that is HARD. I miss my Vancouver friends, I’m still in Toronto social limbo (meaning I have friends, but not yet CLOSE FRIENDS), I still have no more furniture than a couch and a bed, winter is lingering, my job doesn’t pay enough, and I’m wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake. Have I made a huge mistake?

I had a dream last night that I went home for the summer and no one had any time to see me, so I spent most of my three weeks in Vancouver hanging out alone in parks. The zombie nightmares have also returned. Along with the panic attacks. I find myself resisting the urge to go out and buy a pack of cigarettes every single day. Uggggggggggh.

I’m lonely. But not. Isn’t that always the case? But seriously, this is the first time in my entire life that I feel like I am missing my family. Not my biological one. But my friend one. My heart hurts so. There are exciting things happening, and I’m meeting new people all the time, but do I really care? At the end of the day, don’t I just want to cook and share a wonderful meal with people who I love?

I just don’t know. 

Tron – week 3

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As I round out my third week in Toronto, I’m slowly starting to find my stride and figure things out a bit. I go running a few times a week, I have a few pals who I can call for hangs, or text to say hi if I’m having a good or crummy day, I’ve found a permanent place to live, and I’ve biked to most neighbourhoods in the city. It feels like I’ve been here both for a much longer, and much shorter, period of time than three weeks. This might not make sense to anyone but me, but it kind of feels like I am in a weirdo-limbo-dream-zone where nothing is quiiiiiite fully real? Maybe it’s because I still have no idea what my life is really going to be here? It’s all still pretty mysterious in so many ways. Oddly, I also keep running into people I know on the street, so that adds a bit of familiarity to the otherwise mostly unfamiliar veil over the comings and goings of my everyday life.

I’ve been on a few dates since getting here, some better than others, with one individual in particular who just seems so earnest and involved in life, that this weekend more than ever I felt the need to kickstart myself from settling in mode to settled. Consequently, I spent most of today scouring the Internet for book stores, and markets, and other things that I think that I would love in Toronto; then finished of my Internet scour by signing up for a beginner sewing class at The Workroom, and applying for volunteer positions with The West End Food Co-op and the Royal Ontario Museum’s Patrick and Barbara Keenan Family Gallery of Hands-on Biodiversity. *fingers crossed*

Ummmmm. What else… I guess that that’s it for updates. I’m not actually feeling that much like WRITING tonight, but in an effort to be somewhat productive decided that I should just do it even if it’s nothing too exciting. Right?! Right.

Topics to be covered in more seriousness in the near future:

  1. the irritation that I feel when people say things like “Oh! You write about science, but you’re still interested in creative things too? That’s great!”
  2. something about the reasons I hate the Big Bang Theory, and why it’s actually kind of offensive
  3. something in-depth about my new job
  4. maybe something about insecurity, and self esteem, and the displaced feeling of being in a new city when you’re a person who is used to being really well connected/informed and all of a sudden you’re the person being like “I have no ideas for plans! GOD, I AM BORING!”
  5. the plight of my ongoing insecurity with regards to pursuit of my own artistically creative endeavours

THE END.

#YVR –> #YYZ

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OMG! An update! 

What’s happened since my last one many months ago? My best friend got married, I went on several quick little weekend getaways around BC, I spent several months doing interviews over Skype, had a bunch of parties, and then picked up and moved across the country to Toronto. Woo! I’ve known for a while that I needed to shake up my life, and when I was offered a job writing for SickKids, I packed up, sold, and gave away all of the pieces of my life to jump into a new city. I’ve been here for all of a week, and it still does not feel quite real. 

Let me tell you, if you’ve never made a LONG DISTANCE MOVE (especially one where your job is not actually paying any of your moving expenses…), it’s an ordeal. During a normal move, all of those bits and pieces that you’re not sure about can just be conveniently tossed into a “misc” box on moving day. When you are moving across the country, however, that shit has to go somewhere!

Aside: Don’t start finally letting it sink in that you really miss all of your pals when you’re out in a “cool” coffee shop mid-afternoon on a Saturday. You might almost start crying about it, and that is not fun when you are out in public and also wearing eye liner.

REGAINED COMPOSURE

The first week in Toronto was spent meeting friends and acquaintances for drinks, biking around and looking at maps many many times, shopping for work clothes, manically checking craigslist and viewit. Work was breezy, with a slow calm ease in; it seems like it’s gonna’ be pretty great. I know that I have been working real, serious, grown-up jobs for a while now, but this one feels different. It feels like the biggest step so far that I have ever made into middle adult-hood. I am part of an editorial team now, and I already have assignments for some pretty cool writing projects. 

I will slowly find the stores that I will shop at, the markets I will go for groceries, the bars and coffee shops that I will haunt, the lectures I will attend, and the places where I will volunteer. Fall will turn to Winter, and for the first time ever, I will experience living somewhere that it actually gets cold. Old friends will visit from Vancouver, and I will make new friends in Toronto, and so many things in my life will change. 

I feel nervous, and lonely, and brave, and most of all, excited for the year ahead. 

More updates to come. 

THE END.