I should probably start doing this in the morning, because I KEEP FORGETTING.
Also, maybe one of these days soon I will plan out a post about something that I’ve actually been reading/researching about instead of just doing a mad type out of whatever’s in my head that day, MAYBE! Probably after I’ve moved? But in the meantime… WHAT HAPPENED TODAY??
Work. Which was fine. Rain. Some packing. No running.
Caught up with a few friends, planned some CMTO stuff, and potentially made some interesting connections for upcoming informational interviews about cool health start-ups in Toronto. Oh, and also got a really amazingly lovely note in the mail from a past CMTO speaker, and that made me feel so great. It also made me definitely want to start sending ever MORE MAIL. Woo!
I can’t believe that I am moving in 5 days. Again. This will be my 6th move in three years. I am REALLY HOPING that it will be the last for a while.
ANYWAYS. There. I wrote something.
Life is hard sometimes, guys. I have reached the part of my first year of moving that is HARD. I miss my Vancouver friends, I’m still in Toronto social limbo (meaning I have friends, but not yet CLOSE FRIENDS), I still have no more furniture than a couch and a bed, winter is lingering, my job doesn’t pay enough, and I’m wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake. Have I made a huge mistake?
I had a dream last night that I went home for the summer and no one had any time to see me, so I spent most of my three weeks in Vancouver hanging out alone in parks. The zombie nightmares have also returned. Along with the panic attacks. I find myself resisting the urge to go out and buy a pack of cigarettes every single day. Uggggggggggh.
I’m lonely. But not. Isn’t that always the case? But seriously, this is the first time in my entire life that I feel like I am missing my family. Not my biological one. But my friend one. My heart hurts so. There are exciting things happening, and I’m meeting new people all the time, but do I really care? At the end of the day, don’t I just want to cook and share a wonderful meal with people who I love?
I just don’t know.