the 100 day project – day 79 – 100

I really dropped the ball on the last quarter of the 100 day project. Regardless though, I DID write more in this time period, so I suppose in that way, it still served its purpose. Right? Right.

The summer so far has been an amazing blur of way more running than in the past, pal hangs, lots of creativemornings things, and many many meetings to talk about current and future collaborations. Sometimes I can’t believe the momentum I’m gaining in terms of just meeting incredible people. How many new and wonderful, talented, humble, wonderful humans can one person possibly meet?

ANYWAYS. I’m home visiting Vancouver and the surrounding areas at the moment, and it’s always an emotional, but also comforting experience. I miss the coast. But there are also so many reasons that I’m not ready to return. More and more, I am mulling over the idea of trying to create a life that allows me to split my time between these two cities. Vancouver/the Sunshine Coast are so deeply connected to my heart, and the deep deep depths of my soul. My heart and bones ache for the mountains and ocean when I’m not around them, and I actually can’t help but cry when I’m taking the ferry home across the ocean. THAT’S HOW MUCH I MISS THE GD OCEAN, AND THE LANDSCAPES OF COASTAL BC. Long days running through the forests and plunging into the ocean; harvesting veggies from my friends’ gardens, and feeling all of the love and security of people who love me incredibly.

But then Toronto speaks to me, inspires me, and drives me in completely different ways. It pushes me to grow, and to be better, and to be brave. I can feel myself becoming a better and better version of myself with each month that passes that I live there. I have more confidence, and more sureness of myself and my abilities, and more security in my own strength. I would simply not have been able to reach this level of growth had I stayed in Vancouver.

SO WHAT DO I DO NOW. Two battling loves, and two very different lives, both of which I crave so deeply. I just want them both. Now I just need to figure out how to make that happen.

THE END.